Growing up I didn’t need to make sure that things were “perfect”. I remember trying to make sure that the house would be clean for my mom when she got home from work. Mostly I would vacuum the living room and bedrooms for her. I enjoyed doing that the most because you could see the vacuum marks on the rug and it just “looked” clean. On days that I didn’t do it I could feel the stress my mom was having. I didn’t like that.
As an adult, I noticed that I started experiencing the same stress that she had when my apartment wasn’t clean. I would be stressed if the sink was full of dishes and if things weren’t put away where I thought they should go. I am surprised that my boyfriend still decided to ask me to marry him! Unfortunately, he was the one who would have to “deal” with my attitude until the house was “up to par”.
Now, I should mention I now have a 6-year old and a 2-year old. Plus a dog that isn’t even a year old now. When we first found out I was pregnant I knew I had to try to let things go because I didn’t want my child to experience the stress about something so small.
My son arrived on July 21st of 2010 and I didn’t really pay attention to how clean the house was. I was so wrapped up in being a mom to him that it didn’t seem to matter. This isn’t to say that I forgot about the toys being all over the floor, the dishes piling up with bottles, etc. My husband was wonderful about helping out when he could because he knew how I felt about it.
Fast forward to 2017 and another child and puppy later… we made english muffin pizzas last night and I asked the kids if they wanted to help.
Of course, they did. My 6-year old spread the sauce and they both sprinkled the cheese. As the sauce and cheese went all over the counter and floor, I took a deep breath and soaked up the moment that I would never be able to get back with them. One day they will be too old to help with pizzas or too old to snuggle. I fear for that day. I will have many hours to clean and organize when I am older and no longer “needed”. Until then, my home is lived in, which is how it is supposed to look.